Category: Joke Board
Top 10 Songs for Folks Over 80
10) Let's Get a Physical
9) Ain't No Burrito Mild Enough
8) Johnny B. Olde
7) How Do You Mend a Broken Everything
6) The Lack O' Motion
5) Hair Potion Number Nine
4) Doctor My Eyes (And Ears and Joints and Back)
3) To All the Girls I've Disappointed Before
2) Knock Knock Knockin' on the Bathroom Door
AND the
NUMBER ONE
Song for the Over 80 crowd...
1) A Hard Day's Nap
Fun Things To Do During Boring Sermons
- Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
- See if a yawn really is contagious.
- Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your
hand and tell the preacher.
- Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
- Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and so
on through the alphabet. When he reaches 'Z' shout "Zingo!"
- Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of
you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that
made it to the front.
- Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test
and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
- Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the
front, under the pews, without being noticed.
- Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
- Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your
nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn or "
In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida".
- Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing
bubbles.
- By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt
around backwards.
- Crack your knuckles.
- Twiddle your thumbs.
- Twiddle thy neighbor's thumbs.
-
Twiddle thy neighbor's wife's thumbs!
- Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
- Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
On he radio a few weeks go, they ere joking about sending an MP3 plyer o the pope. hey wee joking around bout what songs to uton it, but I an't emember what they were, though, bt I thought it was just a joke, but apparently they id eally send the ope an MP3 player with all he songs on it! Hahahaha! I can't rely think what songs he would want on one of hose if e ha one.